What Every Dude Ought to Know About Wine
Yes, I am going there. At some point you will be forced into the decision of picking wine. Unless you:
A) Don’t like girls
B) Prefer Xbox
For the majority of guys, a dinner date will typically involve ordering wine (and no, you don’t have to be a food critic to enjoy eating out). No time like the present for a crash course, buckle your chin straps and let’s get dirty.
For simplification purposes, there are two types of wine: Red and White.
Red:
Red Wines are robust kick-you-in-the-face types of wines. They are medium to heavy bodied, which means bursting with flavor and very strong to the palate. Inexperienced wine drinkers typically have to acquire a taste for red wine. Just like when you first tasted beer, it wasn’t that great. After your third time drinking beer, it starts to taste better…red wine is the same way.
3 Fancy Names to Remember:
Cabernet Sauvignon - Heavy (Guinness/IPA)
Merlot – Medium (Budweiser)
Pinot Noir – Lighter (Bud Light)
Rule of Thumb for Food Pairing:
Pair a heavy, dry red wine with a heavy protein. For instance, if you’re going to eat a 2LB Porterhouse, go with Cab. If you’re going to eat an 8oz salmon filet, go with Pinot. REMEMBER: Red wine loves red meat.
White:
White wines are much lighter on the palate. They are more refreshing and delicate. Mainly they are made for girls, so I suggest you bite the bullet and choke down a Riesling or Spanish White.
3 Fancy Names to Remember:
Chardonnay – More Dry (Busch Gold Tops)
Pinot Grigio – Medium (Bud Light)
Riesling - Less Dry (Woodchuck Cider)
White Zinfandel - Sweet (Wine Coolers)
Rule of Thumb for Food Pairing:
White wines are typically paired with white fish, chicken, and pork. No man should ever order white fish, chicken, or pork off a menu. Men Eat Steak. REMEMBER: Men drink kick-you-in-the-face red wine with steak.
Therefore, like previously stated, white wines are for girls. So, you should be knowledgeable enough to order a glass that compliments her dinner.
*Exception: On a hot day, it is acceptable for a man to chug white wine, but the bottle may last no longer then 30 minutes. Otherwise, you are not a man…
In conclusion, we could go much more in depth about this subject. But all you really need to know about wine is the differences between Red and White. I suggest you spend the majority of time learning about whiskey, beer, and golf…
Ok, we kid, wine is great. Red or White. Do you have any wine tips for our readers? Comment below!
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Tags: cabernet, drink this, going out, tips, wine
Always ask to sample a few (2-3) selections of each color before you settle on any one bottle/glass. This will not only 1) impress your woman with your wine suaveness but will also 2) give you a better understanding of her (and your) wine taste. Don’t assume “white” = girly. Ahem. ;)
P.s.- There are also “Rose” wines, a mix between red & white, usually chilled.
I know white doesn’t = girly:) I prefer to drink white wine in the summer…never been a huge fan of Rose. Thanks for stopping by Meg!
Whoa dude.
“White wines are typically paired with white fish, chicken, and pork. No man should ever order white fish, chicken, or pork off a menu. Men Eat Steak. REMEMBER: Men drink kick-you-in-the-face red wine with steak.”??!!?!?!?!
Really? No PORK? Pork chops are manly. Pork Belly is manly. Pork Ribs are manly. Pulled Pork is for toothless rebels who are still angry about losing the war of Northern Aggression.
I’ll also point out that I’ve paired Zinfandel (Red – not white) with downright massive slabs of porterhouse and Pinot Noir with loaf sized strip steaks with great success.
In general you should not fear a handful of things in this life – one being the reaper and the other pairing wine with dinner.
amv
I’m sort of in love with Andrew’s comment. Just saying.
I love it also, and I 100% agree :)
Some time before, I did need to buy a car for my business but I didn’t earn enough money and could not purchase something. Thank goodness my fellow adviced to try to get the business loans at creditors. Thus, I did so and was satisfied with my car loan.